I Want to Boldly Break Grammar Rules

I Want to Boldly Break Grammar Rules: Look, I'm not a grammar nazi. If I was, I probably would have capitalized "nazi." But I do like to at least know when I'm breaking grammar rules. There's a scene in a mediocre movie that I only saw once years ago, Finding Forrester, that has stuck with me. Unfortunately I can't find the clip on youtube so you'll have to rely on my highly imperfect recollection. Anyways, the setup is that a young kid with a lot of raw writing talent becomes unlikely friends with a reclusive literary genius (styled after J. D. Salinger). In the scene I remember, the kid writes something that uses some kind of nonstandard grammar; the older guy calls him out on it, and the kid says, basically, "Whatever man, maybe I was using it as part of my literary style!" To which the wise old author yells at him "You have to know the rules before you can break the rules!"

That's how I feel. I may or may not choose to break grammar rules at certain times and in certain places (for example, I almost never use "whom" even when it's called for because I don't want to sound like a pedantic a-hole) but I want to be able to choose whether or not I break the rules.

This is why it absolutely floored me to learn today that "anyways" is a very nonstandard construction; "anyway" is the actual word. "Anyways" is on par with "irregardless." Which thing I never had supposed. I say "anyways" all the time! So now I have to start paying attention! Because really, even if I sometimes don't want to come across as a pedantic a-hole, I still am one.

p.s. The grammar rule I hate the most and don't care one single bit about breaking--in any context--is the prohibition on splitting infinitives. Such a stupid rule and one that is entirely arbitrary. And it makes sentences sound super awkward sometimes!

DIGITAL JUICE